Friday, April 3, 2015

Eurovision Review: Russia with A Million Voices

First Thoughts: You know, it's pretty hard to be objective when the country you're trying to review started a bloody war. I think Russia should just stay away from Eurovision until they give up on their little Soviet Reunion project and stop provoking every single country in the Baltic and pull out of Ukraine. Also: You bloody hypocrite, Russia. A music video featuring a beautiful blue-eyed, blonde-haired woman does not represent the world's people, nor do the very, very white children and people that are featured in the music video to the exclusion of every other race, color, and creed. There are thousands of different shades of humanity, but clearly you see in just one. There are Africans, Asians, South Americans, Indians, indigenous people from all over the world, Sami people, First Nations people, Native Americans, Aboriginals, etc, etc, etc. And guess what? There are also overweight and obese people, differently abled people, mentally disabled people, people in wheelchairs, people who have lost limbs, people whose internal beauty isn't reflected in their earthly bodies, etc, etc, etc. You are not the world's people, Russia. You are a country blind to every color save for bigotry and hatred. European supremacy never did anyone any good, and your not-at-all-subtle message of 'everything is better in Russia, da?' isn't funny.

Best Lyric: I'm sorry, I didn't hear any over the sound of the bigoted message in the music video.

Worst Lyric: All of it. Every last word.

Finalist? I truly hope not. I'll boo so loud they'll hear me in South Africa.

Final Thoughts: This song makes me angry, yes, but more than anything it makes me sad. I know that the majority of Russians probably don't approve of the actions of their government, and are probably pissed as hell at the image Putin is projecting to the world. The average Russian citizen isn't going out and starting a new conflict every day, and they're suffering because the people in charge are seven shades of crazy.

Score out of 12: Nil points.

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