Step One: The Threads. Basically you need to dress like Apocalypse Now was three years ago. You are going to need at least one of each of the following:
- A black tank top.
- A leather jacket, preferably stained with tobacco, gun powder, and motor oil.
- Black cargo pants. The more buckles and chains, the better.
- Black combat boots. Bonus for steel tips.
- A black beanie. Bonus for skulls.
- Fingerless leather gloves. Bonus for skulls.
- A black belt. Bonus if it has studs. Triple bonus if it's in karate.
- Studded rings, earrings, and bracelets.
Okay, now that you look hard, you need to feel it.
Step Two: The Tunes.
- Let's start off tame with some Hard Rock Hallelujah. Bonus if you know what song contest it won. Double bonus if you know what year.
- Okay, now we need to turn up the heat a bit. Listen to Devil is a Loser and Spiel Mit Mir. Triple bonus points if you know German and get through both songs anyway.
- Carrying on. Time to start the bonfire, gentlemen. This time it's Mein Teil.
Step Three: The Wheels.
- You need a Jeep. No question about it. A Jeep is the minimum requirement for being a hard-a** m*****f****r.
- If Jeeps aren't your thing, you need a Hummer.
- And if you want the medal for All Time Hard Man, you need a Marauder. Watch the gentle grace with which it fits into this tight space while doing some light Zombie Apocalypse Stockpiling shopping.
Step Four: Acting Hard.
- Don't. We're all still gentlemen here. No need to go around breaking things and smashing watermelons. Walking the walk, jamming to the metal, and driving the hottest car in town is enough.
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