Sunday, March 29, 2015

Eurovision Review: Belgium with Rhythm Inside

First Thoughts: Before we get started here, I'd just like to point out a pattern I've noticed over the years. There seem to be three types of countries in Eurovision - first, and sadly rarest, the countries that legitimately want to win Eurovision and send a decent song in pursuit of that goal; second, the countries that could not give a damn if they tried and send bad songs on purpose; and third, the countries that truly want to win but loose every bit of musical judgement they've ever had when it comes time to pick a song. Yeah, I'm looking at you, UK. In any case, Belgium seems to be some strange combination of the three. Like, I can't tell if they thought this was a really good song that would sweep Europe off its collective feet or if they're just messing with us. The song itself is three different genres rolled into a miserable-sounding whole, like a raw steak soaked in pineapple juice and slathered in peanut butter, and the music video is seven shades of 'what the heck?'

Best Lyric: Listen to the sound of thunder, rolling in the soul down under. Perhaps they're predicting an Australian victory? In any case, it's the best lyric this song has to offer.

Worst Lyric: On a cosmic track, love attack, I’m gonna get that rhythm back. We’re going to ra-pa-pa, ra-pa-pa, we’re gonna ra-pa-pap tonight. Are you going to rap? Read to your papa? Grab your stethoscope and listen to the sound of a heart beating to the rhythm of 'oh God, please make this stop?'

Finalist? God, I hope not.

Final Thoughts: I can see how some people can listen to this and enjoy it, but I think it's one of those things where you either love it or hate it, and I'm definitely not loving it.

Score out of 12: 1 point for effort, Belgium.

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