Sunday, March 15, 2015

Eurovision Review: The United Kingdom with Still in Love With You

First Thoughts: Sometimes, I think Britain thinks to themselves, "Heheh, we'll fool all those snooty continentals with our English accents!" when they choose their entry. They legitimately want to win, like, really freaking badly, but if you ask any of them they'll pretend they don't give a furry rat's behind about Eurovision. And then when they come in last place with a single pity point from France, they'll drink until they pass out or cry themselves to sleep but in the morning light they'll put on their spectacles and laugh and say, "Heheh, we didn't want to win anyway. It's just a silly song contest!"

Best Lyric: The last one, but don't ask me what it is. I couldn't hear it over the sound of everyone in a five kilometer radius saying, "Well, thank Jove that's over."

Worst Lyric: Well, don't get on the wrong train, don't fly in an old plane, don't go out in the pouring rain. You might get wet; I'd be upset. You're bound to get sneezes, or nasty diseases. Seriously? Seriously? Britain, you can do so much better. Like this: Well, don't bet on the UK winning Eurovision, that'd be a bad decision. You'd loose all your money, and I would laugh at you, honey. Hahahaha. 

Finalist?: Unfortunately, yes.

Final Thoughts: The sad thing is that a lot of legitimately good music comes out of the UK each year. Along with the US and Sweden, they are one of the music powerhouses of the world. If they really wanted to win Eurovision, they'd send One Direction or another of their silly boybands and boom, Europe would once again be pwned by the Great British Empire.

Score out of 12: Nil points!

No comments:

Post a Comment