Eurovision Review: Russia with A Million Voices

First Thoughts: You know, it's pretty hard to be objective when the country you're trying to review started a bloody war. I think Russia should just stay away from Eurovision until they give up on their little Soviet Reunion project and stop provoking every single country in the Baltic and pull out of Ukraine. Also: You bloody hypocrite, Russia. A music video featuring a beautiful blue-eyed, blonde-haired woman does not represent the world's people, nor do the very, very white children and people that are featured in the music video to the exclusion of every other race, color, and creed. There are thousands of different shades of humanity, but clearly you see in just one. There are Africans, Asians, South Americans, Indians, indigenous people from all over the world, Sami people, First Nations people, Native Americans, Aboriginals, etc, etc, etc. And guess what? There are also overweight and obese people, differently abled people, mentally disabled people, people in wheelchairs, people who have lost limbs, people whose internal beauty isn't reflected in their earthly bodies, etc, etc, etc. You are not the world's people, Russia. You are a country blind to every color save for bigotry and hatred. European supremacy never did anyone any good, and your not-at-all-subtle message of 'everything is better in Russia, da?' isn't funny.

Best Lyric: I'm sorry, I didn't hear any over the sound of the bigoted message in the music video.

Worst Lyric: All of it. Every last word.

Finalist? I truly hope not. I'll boo so loud they'll hear me in South Africa.

Final Thoughts: This song makes me angry, yes, but more than anything it makes me sad. I know that the majority of Russians probably don't approve of the actions of their government, and are probably pissed as hell at the image Putin is projecting to the world. The average Russian citizen isn't going out and starting a new conflict every day, and they're suffering because the people in charge are seven shades of crazy.

Score out of 12: Nil points.

Music Shuffle Game Part 5: Lifetime Songs

1. When Nothing's Left - Royal Wood

2. Everywhere - Fleetwood Mac

3. Tangled - Maroon 5

4. Believe - Dima Bilan

5. Notre Dame de Paris Act 2 Song 1 Florence

6. Don't Look Back in Anger - Oasis

Music Shuffle Challenge

1. Describe yourself: 

The Uncomfortable Truth - Nneka

(How true.)


2. What do people feel when they’re around you?: 

Weighty Ghost - Wintersleep 

(I guess because I look like a ghost?)


3. Describe your current relationship 

Tu No Eres Para Mi - Fanny Lu

(This does describe all of my past relationships.)


4. Where would you like to be right now?: 

Porque Aun Te Amo - Dima Bilan

(Perhaps it wants me to be in Russia?)


5. How do you feel about love?: 

Bluebird - Christina Peri

(Kinda, I guess.)


6. What is your life like?: 

I'm Afraid - Royal Wood

(OMG this is so freakin' true it's creepy.)


7. What would you wish for if you only had one wish?: 

Bedroom Eyes - Dum Dum Girls

(That would so not be my one wish, lol.)


8. Say something wise: 

For the First Time - The Script

(Now, that's not nice.)


9. How would you describe yourself? 

Горе-Зима - Dima Bilan

(Translates to Winter Grief, which is the truest thing yet.)


10. What do you look for in a girl? 

Make me Over - Lifehouse

(Ummm, no.)


11. How do you feel today?

Tu Vas Me Detruire - Frollo

(So true.) 


12. What’s your life’s purpose? 

Fri - Ramsus Seebach

(I suppose so.)


13. What is your motto? 

You Can Shake the Mountains - Lifehouse


14. What do your friends think of you? 

Christmas Coming Home - Nashville Cast

(That'd be nice if I had any friends besides my panda, lol)


15. What do your parents think of you?

Til dig - Rasmus Seebach

(I guess this means they love me a lot. Lol, at least I didn't get Spiel Mit Mir.)


16. What do you think about very often? 

The Glory - Royal Wood

(Yaaas.)


17. What do you think of your best friend? 

Remember When it Rained - Josh Groban

(I don't have a best friend, so it got confused. Either that, or it's trying to tell me my panda needs a bath. WHICH HE DOESN'T.)


18. What do you think of the person you like? 

Берега / Небеса - Dima Bilan

(Translates to Heaven. And, yes, that is what I think of Megan Fox, thanks for asking.)


19. What is your life story? 

Criminal - Britney Spears

(I hate you right now, Music Shuffle Challenge.)


20. What do you want to be when you grow up? 

Ain't that a Kick in the Head - Dean Martin

(Ain't that a kick in the head?)


21. What do you think of when you see the person you like? 

Believe - Dima Bilan

(Yes, I believe I will one day marry Megan Fox. *eye roll.*)


22. What will you dance to at your wedding? 

Lady Flame - Dima Bilan

(This isn't so bad.)


23. What will play at your funeral? 

Running up that Hill - Placebo

(Yup.)


24. Biggest fear? 

A Horse With No Name - America 

(Yes, being lost in a desert with no water is one of my biggest fears.)


25. Biggest secret? 

Chapter One - Lifehouse

(Yeah, my secret's safe!!!!)